A simple hug

Hug a doggie

A hug is worth a thousand words. I've been reading that hugs release happy hormones,  so a hug can only be a good thing. 

I haven't talked much about romantic love on this blog, but I would like to I guess in another post, but it is personal.

For me, a hug can mean so much by the length, grip and how you feel about the person.

A hug after a fight is usually reassuring, but as I am not discussing my romantic life here, hugs after a fight for me usually mean something like 'Get over it...' That's a 'deal with it,' 'I was right' kind of hug... - where family or acquaintances are concerned.

I am not going to go into all of the types of hugs I have experienced, because there are a lot, but the simple hug, that's one to treasure.

People that greet you with a hug, are special, and people that greet you with a real squeeze of a hug, priceless.

A simple hug can make my day,

hugs to you all,

KK

What I love about:

Snakes

These beautiful, but mysterious creatures are so agile and gentle, its amazing. On first impressions it may not seem this way, but getting to know my pythons, they really are so smart, curious and well, cuddly!

Phylis the Jungle python

I loved the way my pythons would wrap around my hands and climb up my arms and just watch me. Contrary to popular belief, snakes are not slimy or creepy and I don't think that it's just me who thinks so. The skin of pythons (at least I know) is very smooth and shiny. they are very gentle once used to your skin and scent and their grip is so light, you barely notice they are there.

It may sound ridiculous, but I have always wanted a python because they are easy to handle. If you know me well, you know that my fine and gross motor skills aren't top notch, so something delicate or skittish is hard for me to handle - such as a bird or a lizard (but certainly not impossible!) and I really wanted a python because of their lack of limbs and special movement because I didn't want to grip something so small and hurt it, but the strong muscles in these gorgeous creatures is amazing!

Also their faces, I love looking into the personality of a snake, when I see one at stores, you can look into their eyes and see if they are aggressive or placid, most of the pythons are so placid and curious and the aggressive one are just so interesting too.

I adore snakes and I hope to one day own quite a few and treat them, getting to know them better.

fingers crossed,

KK

looking through rose coloured... stones?

I thought it was funny.... but I am actually talking about looking at life through rose coloured lenses - positivity.

Life can be so so hard and at times, so difficult to see the good, but I must admit, that no matter how bad things have seemed, I have always come out of it. A change in routine, a look from a different perspective or a change in attitude can really have an outstanding positive effect on your life, it always has on mine and I am forever changing because of it.

So I might go back to an old routine or dig up some old photos, but I find that just tweaking the current roller coaster I am on, even slightly, really helps me to come out of that sad state. A stupid state, that just brings others down and frankly, myself down. It doesn't help anyone, complaining, 'poor me syndrome' and hurting others to make myself feel better.

We all have to learn what makes us happy without relying on others, it is only you who can change your perspective and look through rose coloured glasses,

KK

Honesty

Honesty is a fickle thing. It can get you in trouble or it can reveal things that make the other party rethink and listen. The latter is rare, but its the best case scenario, so for me - its honesty all the way!

Whilst trying not to sound like a hypocrite, I used to lie my ass off for just about everything. I lied because I didn't want to hurt people's feelings and sometimes for boredom.... I had to lie over and over and that's when I found it to exhausting = honesty.

It is pretty much only every third person who actually understands why I am being so honest. I hate hurting anyone's feelings, so often I won't say anything and I sit there mulling over someone else's problems..... But being honest sort of lets that gut feeling free!

Now sometimes I think it is better to hold back and keep foot out of mouth, actually most times.... because it can be seen as arrogant, an assumption or just hurtful and I am certainly not like that, at least I hope I'm not...

It has taken me a long time to respect honesty, but now I think I have a firm grip on it, as long as it is the truth,

KK

Sorry Mum

So the blog posts A turn for the worst and my-past-my-future-rebel-in-me were very insensitive for me to post because they are about my childhood and who was always there for me in my childhood? Mum and dad.

Mum has never said a bad word against dad and I think that it is important to talk about divorce through a neutral mind. I will talk about that in another post.

However this is about my mother and how she felt about these two posts and I just want to admit how cruel it was, because both of my parents took excellent care of me as a child and had no control over what the other parent did, through no fault of their own. My parents both took great care of my brother and I and I am so grateful for everything they have ever done for me.

Everything mum has ever done is out of love. She can't help what my dad has done with what was once their property and she should be able to understand that growing up around Rebels made me a better person, though I know it is hard and I promise I was well hidden from the bad stuff.

But again mum, I would like to apologise for my idiocy and selfish thinking. Everything I write online is for the world to see and having my mum read and approach me is not the angle I was going for, so I would like to portray that.

Love your family because sometimes, they are all you've got,

KK

Daily comfort

So lately I have been having a hard time, just finding the right groove. I go through about 50 emotions a day and sometimes it helps to just stop and consider this.

When I am alone, I am at my best. When I am around others, I tend to adapt to their environment and talk how they talk and do what they do - I know this is bad, but I am starting to come out of it.

So the last few weeks have been a whirlwind and I have had 20 thoughts at once rushing through my brain - I actually am at my best here because I can keep track, but as soon as someone else invades my thoughts, I lose that peace and hope.

So I have to find comfort to reassure myself, here are some of the things I do to refresh:

• Cuddle any animal (this always, always helps)
• Hug a person (sometimes this helps, sometimes it makes it worse...)
• Drink a hot Milo, Chai or in Summer, juice
• Go for a run
• Read an inspirational Blog
• Read a book
• Have a bath or shower (sometimes I just get bored though...)
• Go through photos
• Handwrite letters
• Photograph
• Draw
• Make jewellery 
• Tire myself out so I can have a good nights sleep!

KK

A turn for the worst...

So I found out today that my dad had done something I'd been dreading...

He has sold Clyden to a developer...

If you have no idea what I'm talking about see here: Clyden, More of Clyden and A little story about Clyden.

Now I know that getting attached to mostly inanimate objects is unhealthy, but, I grew up on this property. I took my first steps, said my first word and had my first tantrum. Plus Clyden stayed a home to me after my parents divorce at a young age until I was at least 19.

Plus all of those inanimate objects, the trees, the birds, the memories, make up a home, a property and that is the closest thing to loving a human being. (romantically) Feeling like your property/partner/love is being ripped from you and literally demolished......

I won't be able to drive past when and after it happens. Now I don't know how many of you will understand, but that's what I feel, so I went there for perhaps the last time the other day.

I parked out the front of the chained shut gate and sat in the car for a minute, staring down the, now overgrown, driveway. Suddenly I jumped out of the car and climbed the gate. As soon as I was on Clyden soil I cried my heart out. I knew something was wrong before dad had told me about the developer.

I ran down the driveway hoping to find some life - perhaps the willy wagtails that always chatted to me and raised their young in the same tree outside the kitchen window every year, or the Jackie Winter's who would attack their reflections in the window, but I saw nothing. The place was dead, eerie even.

Like something out of a movie, the memories came flooding back to me and I stopped where our multiple breeding dogs had puppies and where they grew from tiny fur-balls to jumpy rat-bags. The little stump of wood that I'd sit on in the sun and I wandered under the veranda where I spent many hours, playing with puppies, watching ants and spiders, tripping and other clumsy stuff...
Then I wandered the backyard and realised the fernery had been completely ripped out. I used to pretend I was a fairy in here, I would find Easter eggs in the ferns and underneath plants, I would hide and adore the damp smell akin to a giant rainforest.

I sat where the vast aviaries from dad breeding his birds, used to be and I missed the obnoxious screeches from the parrots...

I wandered the fence-line and smiled at the messes I got into, the places where the daffodils bloomed each spring (now also gone) the place where I once found a crayfish carcass and maggots, (hey I was fascinated at the time...) The tiny shrub of an acorn tree that I planted at least ten years ago, the empty chook shed, the back shed with the shipping container dad had worked in, paint peeling off it, then the paddocks, no fences. I imagined where the fence-line used to be and wandered along that.

My first dog and Best friend - Jacko

I couldn't stop the overwhelming sadness in me. half of the paddock had been mowed and the rest was knee high grass. I didn't care about snakes, I was running through it to reach the back aviary, where the pond I spent hours wading in to find our turtles, fish and any other life lay, completely dried up, weeds everywhere. I couldn't push open the door because it was wrapped in thistles and rusted.

My first dog is buried there in the aviary. I said goodbye long ago, but it still hurts.

I couldn't finish walking the fence-line so I crossed back to the house and headed toward the front lawn. On my way I stopped at the trough, used to be filled with yabbies, it had murky water in it, but no crustaceans... I skimmed the surface of the water and jumped the barbed wire fence, knowing how to from long ago without getting pricked.

I ran along the front porch and crossed over to the old plum trees, usually full with fruit, but very leafy - who knows I might go back for one last batch. Nana (who passed away early last year) used to make jars and jars of beautiful plum jam and we lived off it with bread and butter during Summer!

I turned around to see the magnificent 'Shade tree.' A willow tree that I couldn't resist climbing....

I sat in the tree for what felt like hours, feeling the sun and slight breeze on my face and didn't want to leave. then a car pulled up next to mine out the front so I watched from the tree. They got out, scowled and waited a bit, then got in their car and drove off. I'm assuming this was the developer, which annoyed me so much more. When he was long gone, I practically jumped from the tree and lay in the middle of the lawn - rolling in the grass - almost like rubbing his face in it. I felt so angry, but then came my friend - Willy Wagtail!

He seemed to reassure me and I felt warm and fuzzy. I am glad he is still around and I am sure I will revisit my 'heart' my home again, before it gets demolished...

Trying so hard to stay positive,

KK

My past, my future: The rebel in me

I am the person I am today because of the things I have been through. On the outside I guess it looks like I had a normal childhood, but what is normal?

The rebel in me.

Yes, I spent a lot of weekends and school holidays of my life in the Rebels Motorcycle Clubhouses around Melbourne. This was between the ages of about 8 to 17 - so a pretty big chunk of motorbikes, rock music and bikie wives. Yes my life was quite a similar version to Bikie Wars - Brothers in Arms minus the massacre....

I grew up with swearing, fighting before my eyes, alcohol, drugs, pool tables and smoke, but I never took part in any of it. I knew the roughest, gruffest men and always knew they were big softies. Now I don't wan't to dob my parents in or anything, because I had a fantastic childhood. I learnt a lot from the clubhouses though. I was always observant and quiet and this was where I had my first crush.

I won't put his name, but if he ever reads this, he'll know its him. I only ever saw him with the club or at his parents house, he came over to our house a few times and I almost died of embarrassment, every time. Especially once when I was covered in mud after playing in the pond on our property and he saw me trying to creep into the house to get clean.

Another time I walked straight into a hanging flower pot that'd been there since I was born, which happened to be right in front of him.

I also crashed into a tree on my brothers Go Kart in view of my crush.

But enough about him, I am certain that I bored everyone to death, because he was all I ever talked about and I'm pretty sure he knew it...

Other things about the rebel clubhouse, was that I learnt how to sleep through anything! Rock music, bitch fights, live bands. I could zonk out no problem. Most of the clubs had bedrooms upstairs that I could creep into when I was bored to death.

The boredom, oh the boredom. I became extremely creative because all there was to do, was eat chips, drink soft drink and watch adults play pool in dark rooms. So I would draw or write.

My other family, my dads girlfriend, her daughter and her son were my second family. I grew up with these two women and they taught me so much, especially to do with resilience, strength and patience...

I'm going to leave this post here because To be very honest, I am getting quite emotional,

Stay strong and love your childhood,

KK

A beautiful theatrical beginning...

Princess 'Whatshername?' ....

May I introduce, uh 'Whatshername!

Cinderella (in rags)

I have just completed my first Youth production with the BATS theatre company and I had an absolute blast. I made so many amazing friends and my confidence sky-rocketed, it was a huge turn and beginning for me and I have never experienced anything so special.

Cinderella (before the Eastern ball)

I cannot compare the experience of being behind the scenes of a brilliant musical - to anything really. My FIRST performance (eeek!) was in the production of 'Princesswhatshername!' and I got to work with so many exceptionally talented youth and adults!

Cinderella and Prince Swavay

I felt so inspired by the team and loved every scene and all of the work that went into it. The passion that everyone has, while having fun at the same time is something from a dream :) !

I played Cinderella (Yes I know I look like Belle, but this isn't Disney...) A girl who wanted to party all night long and win the heart of her Prince Swavay, but was really just more interested in the party...

And so the story goes that a princess awakes from a kiss from her true love.... The characters that help her and cross her path along the way were original, imaginative and fantastic actors/actresses. I can't fault a single one!

Hansel and Gretel

Gretel

Hansel and Gretel and Lollipops* all very talented actors with multiple roles and wonderful expression and entertainment skills! Hansel awed the crowd when he grew more 'huggable' in a matter of scenes and Gretel's eye rolls of brotherly dismay were classical! The duet sung by the two was hilarious, harmonised and played beautifully with the theme of the classic candy house owned by the forest witch.

Candy-filled Hansel

Gretel, Hansel and the sleeping princess

The forest witch* gave an evil touch with a spark of comedy, a talented actress with a double role also and appearing in multiple scenes.

Rumplestiltsken was an all-round favourite of the audience with plenty of quirk and style. A magnificent actor with 100% effort into every show and second of it. Rumple was a very talented actor with a difficult rap sequence, multiple personality and all-round' wit. His charm affected everyone and his presence on stage was always magical.

Rumplstiltsken

'Princesswhatshername' sung flawlessly in her solo and blew the audience away. Her distracted heart and optimistic spirit shone throughout the entire show. Although dressed in rags, the princess didn't give up on finding her prince and asserting herself along the way, while in the meantime, her prince was also looking for her...

The Princess played her part very well, with feeling and hope and wonder in her eyes! Every movement this actress made was with grace and she was the perfect actress for this role. She owned the stage when she had to and gladly stood back when others were on stage, always wide-eyed! Beautiful.

Princess 'Whatshername' and Rumplestiltsken

Rumplestilsken and Prince Reveille

Prince Reveille (in flight)

Prince Reveille encountered many characters and fought for his princess along the way, never giving up by prancing, twirling, flying, hiding, dancing and running! This actor was fantastic and always knew exactly what he was doing, charming and full of smiles, the prince was always amusing and emotional.


The three bears, Father bear, mama bear* and baby bear* all played by talented, quietly confident two-part actors. Father bear had 'huggable' fur and stood tall with his adorable waistcoat and grumpy demeanour. A great actor with a quiet, but influential presence. Mama Bear* was the traditional mother, dressed in an apron and as an actress, was 'Too Sweet to be Sour....' and baby bear was the youngest of the cast and quickly warmed to everyone, embracing her role with a "roar" and doing all of the right things, knowing her cues and embracing the limelight. "She was a great little actress." - my grandad who came to the show stated.

Father bear

The other characters in the show included the seven dwarfs, (Rowdy, Flighty, Hippie, Whiny, Giddy, Nosey and Guilty) * All true to their characters and a class of comedy for all!

Rowdy

Rowdy was just that, a character with a boisterous attitude and troublemaking streak to stir the pot. An actor playing multiple roles, Rowdy embraced his dwarf character with excellent timing and perseverance.

Flighty was a distracted little dwarf with her mind on everything but what was actually happening before her. This little actress played her role fabulously and was completely lovable. She was cast perfectly for her role.

Flighty with the princess

Hippie was the easygoing, peacemaking dwarf with top chill factor. Played by a beautiful little actress with quite a few lines, acting stunningly and projecting her voice exceptionally well.

Whiny wanted everything her way and complained if it wasn't right. A gorgeous actress with attitude and resiliance. This girl definitely knew how to act and project. Her facial expressions and mannerisms were spot on entertainment.

Prince Reveille and the Dwarves

Giddy was a loveable little dwarf full of excitement and hugs! played by a gifted little actor with utter glee, great projection and always smiling, on and off stage.

Nosey was played by a sweet girl, with a curiosity and quietness about her. She played her part very well on stage, always watching, taking everything in and snooping around the other characters.

Guilty was brilliant in his mannerisms and came a long way, this being his first show as an actor. His character made us all want to hug him and tell him it was all okay! He projected well and was always looking up, so the lighting could catch his face.

Goldilocks and the Princess

Goldilocks was a a wonderful actress, a rising star with plenty of personality and flair, she always kept her cool and never lost her sly grin. Goldlocks was perhaps the most helpful of characters to the princess and as an actress, she was bouncy and excitable, just how goldilocks should be! She was very talented in her country-style getup, always in on the action and secure in her role!

Goldilocks and Cinderella

I had my beautiful Fairy Godmother and Step-sisters played by four gorgeous (who said ugly??), (though rushed, but always so poised) actresses fighting over Prince Revielle. Cinderella of course had back up by her stepsisters to help the princess on her way, because she was kind of useless at that and very vain...

Cinderella was only concerned about losing her shoe and wandering around in a ball gown. Blaming everything on and disrespecting fairy Godmother, who in her grace, just put up with her...

Cinderella of the East, Fairy Godmother

Prince Swavay of the East

Fairy Godmother was kind, helpful and the glimmer of hope for everyone, a talented actress, her voice also shone through to the audience. Here elegance showed and her English accent was impeccable. A proper fairy, putting up with Cinderella.

Queen of the West (In disguise)

Then came Snow White* Queen of the West and Rapunzel - played by two outstanding, talented actresses,

Snow White's Southern American accent was flawless and her singing amazing with parts in a duet among other songs.

Rapunzel could be heard high from her tower, both ladies projecting wonderfully!

Rapunzel was mad at her prince Adonis for taking so long to rescue her from her tower and she was slightly deaf from being locked in the tower by the forest witch.*

Prince Adonis

Rapunzel

While the princess continued to find answers by heading to the Northern Kingdom, a fight began between the lovable princes and princesses...

This was a hilarious fight with balloon swords, shields, slippers and other materials flying everywhere during a chorus of a bobby, country song. Everyone had so much fun in this scene and Prince Reveille was thrown around a lot. All of the Princes looked handsome and worthy of their princesses even though there was obvious confusion on who belonged to who...

Prince Hercules

The princes: Hercules, Adonis, Swavay and Reveille

Prince Hercules and Prince Reveille

Proposals were made and rescues attempted, but for some reason, these didn't follow through....

Prince Swavay and Prince Reveille

The fight is on! Who's prince are you anyway?

As we ran off after the princes, princess 'Whatshername' found herself at the Northern castle with the riddled Queen of the North and her baby daughter. She was trying to guess the name of the man who cursed her and her child so she could keep her. A lovely actress, showing stress and worry for her child and kingdom. A very talented, almost solo actress. 

Then the princess had a sudden flashback to when she was a baby.

The Princess as a baby, her mother and father, the King and Queen of the South and the Good fairies of the South

 Memories came flooding back of an evil fairy. The one who had cursed her to death. But the three Southern fairies changed the curse so that she would instead fall into a deep sleep until her true loves kiss.

 The Evil fairy was a brilliant actor with a loud, frightening presence and obvious anger at not being invited to the naming ceremony. So he cast a curse of death by a spindle on a spinning wheel on the princess. His acting ability was beyond fantastic, he took over the stage and sung smugly with a brilliant witchy cackle to finish!

The three fairies of the South had beautiful voices and harmony. All three were very talented and graceful in the spotlight. They granted their wishes to the princess. The princess had flashbacks of the characters she had met along her way and a haunting song struck the audience to convey this. It was a brilliant musical sequence by all.

There was a large monologue given by the King of the South and every word was spot on, he did a fantastic job showing concern for his daughter, yet staying stern for the kingdom. The King and the Queen of the South were both two fantastic actors as caring, concerned parents.

When these two finally found each other, this happened: 

The King and Queen of the South both played fantastic roles as royalty and distraught parents, rejoicing at the return of their princess and their new son in law!

Southern Fairy sister 1

Southern Fairy sister 2

THE END!

Again, my experience with this show was exceptional and I really enjoyed every moment of it. I made some great friends and everyone was really lovely and encouraging.

The backstage crew were amazing and the BATS staff too, Thank you also to the Director and everyone who was there for rehearsals, etc.

I wish I could thank you all personally and to everyone in the audience also.

Me and my beautiful niece after a show

Some of the beautiful friends I made and I hope we can stay friends for years to come!

I plan to write another post on my new friends and bits and pieces, so stay tuned!

KK

(Disclaimer below)

* Names and photos will not be printed due to unauthorised permission or absence of permission and general privacy. The photo's displayed have been from Mark Symonds photography(c) and have been authorised by cast and parents of those under 18 years of age.