Hello 2019!

 As 2018 was a very tough year for me, I am going to take it easy in 2019 without being too hard on myself. Usually, I am willing to set challenges, work extremely hard and just push myself to achieve and experience, but that's not what I need right now.

I started the year off on a camping trip with some friends and that in itself bought up mixed feelings. I knew that I screwed up my 2018 all by myself and in 2019 I am determined, yet not promising, that I will get back on track - whatever track that may be!

I am back at Uni again this year, hopefully, to follow through to completion by 2020 and boy has this study been a long road, because truthfully, I have been studying for all of my 20's and I will be 27 this year - you do the math... I am really trying not to be ashamed. Let's be honest though, I have changed campuses twice and changed from part-time to full-time, which hasn't helped.

The #tenyearchallenge sees me as not much different at all - apart from a different tan and white dog, I am very similar to my sixteen-year-old self, now almost twenty-seven, I just look more tired - again, another excuse to take it slow and simple this year.

Fitting to this post, my word of the year is:

STEADY



Obviously, I just want to take it easy this year as mentioned earlier and steady seemed like the perfect word! In living by this word for the year my focus will be on:

• Slowly etching away at my goals
• getting out in nature more
• focusing on eating well, exercising and getting plenty of sleep.
• saving, saving, saving! (money)
• enjoying my work to the best of my ability (employment and Uni)

My big goals include:

• writing - working on this blog and my story.
• photography - back to nature and maybe entering some competitions? I am a complete novice though.
• Immersing myself in studying and focusing on one topic at a time, in smaller time increments. I am aiming to go into one of three scary fields of further study after completing my Bachelors and I want to gently work towards figuring out which one! 
• Becoming more confident and social. 

My smaller, yet just as meaningful goals include:

• Reading without any pressure on numbers (with this tactic I have already listened to two amazing audiobooks and I am halfway through a 380-page book from my favorite author!) 
• Keeping a reading log of books, articles, papers, audiobooks and any information I have consumed. I want to prove that I read more than I do, but in a gentle way.
• Volunteering to add to my resume and end the year with a bang... steadily. I plan to only volunteer when I am feeling 100% able to. (It is hard work)
• Practice singing and do singing lessons.

Every January seems like a big chance for new beginnings and without putting too much pressure on myself, I really aim to just begin to chip away at all of this. Most of the goals I have already begun, so I guess I am halfway done!

Enjoy your 2019, no matter how it was started,

KK

My Inner Child

The title of this post may sound a little 'woo woo' to you, but I assure you - it doesn't have to be. I think of my inner child, literally as 'me.' Thinking back to my childhood, I can clearly picture the innocence and sense of adventure I had. Thinking back to that happy, adventurous child running through long grass, climbing onto roofs, haystacks and trees are a lot easier to reflect on than doing those things as an adult... usually.

Being an adult is hard work. I'm not saying that adulthood sucks and being a child is bliss, but they are different. Seeing as I really always knew who, what and where I wanted to be, I knew if I worked hard and became a decent human, I'd achieve my dreams. I often get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life now - so, just thinking about the days when I was a kid really help me and bring all that I wanted, back into perspective.

I know that not every childhood was like mine and not everyone knew what they wanted to do when they grew up. I do believe that everyone must have at least a handful of moments that reveal pure innocence and joy - even if you have blocked them out or don't care to admit it.

You may think I am dwelling on the past, but the truth is I am not, far from it really. I choose to remember those times and smile because I know that at that age, I believed in myself - so why aren't I doing that now?

A big reason why I go back to my childhood and remember how it was is to recall inspiration, wonder, excitement, love, nostalgia, sentimentality, sadness, physical hurt and the life-changing moments and other emotions we are supposed to feel. I don't generally experience these every day, I do think they are good to feel and take in. As a creative, I also often need to recreate similar characters in my writing. It is much easier to remember curiosity, excitement and lose count of the number of times I laughed when reflecting on my younger self. Fun fact: we don't laugh anywhere near as much as we did as children!

The meditation I use to do this is from The Honest Guys YouTube channel: Heal your inner child

If you still aren't sure how much your inner child can help you overcome the worst, watch this video with an open mind and do it privately so that you can immerse yourself in, you: 

So embrace your inner child, regularly if possible and remember that you really haven't changed all that much, you can still have fun, right?

KK

Left: This is me as a kid (I don't know what age) with the cows and another with my brother.
























Below: is a picture of me now (at 26.)

The refresh

Things always get better. Its all about refreshing.

Whenever I have had a slump in life, (and I have had many) I find that I am better for it when I refresh my mind and make myself remember why I love the things I'm doing.

Now, I'm not talking anything huge or 'weird' like spa retreats, meditation, even travel or anything that comes to mind when I say 'refresh.'

Recently, I have felt up-in-the-air about my studies, blog and a few other things, so I thought about what I used to do to get myself motivated. I think it also helps, to come up with new, refreshing ways, to be inspired as well.

I used to do 'photo-shoots' with my friend (by 'photo-shoots' I mean taking photos outside with a cheap camera and ordering my friend around, certainly amateur stuff!) And the amount of fun we used to have, was just priceless, plus I got some great, genuine shots for my blog/memories. So I took to the park with my friends and did just that. I used my phone (I left my SD card at home, I bought the shell of the camera though...) and the shots came out really well. Once my friends got used to the idea of being more natural, everything just flowed. (So you'll be seeing some of those photo's soon!)

I also started writing with my personal projects again. I haven't had the inspiration to do this lately, so I let it go, put it low on my priority list and threw myself into study. I had forgotten this, but that was just what I needed for my inspiration to flow, letting go of overthinking.... I re-watched some great movies and downloaded some songs I used to listen to when I wrote and BAM, I could write with flow again!

Now with study... the hardest of all. I study science by the way, and it's not always easy. For me, it is very personal - how I get back into focus with this. If you want to know more about that side of me, head over to my other blog never doubt nature.

Some previous photo-shoots for fun!

Find what refreshes you and do it!

KK