Everyone wants to be swept up into romance. Everyone want this great love and a happy ending. Whether its career, a partner or just life, we all want happiness right? Not necessarily - but that's off the point...
Everyone I know has a story to tell about romance - usually involving partners - although I do have some close family and friends who I only know to be career driven. These stories are what should make us happy - it is about the journey. However, I think that all a lot of us want, is for someone to come along and save them.
Romeo save me.
Because I can't save myself.
When I started writing this post, I wasn't thinking about serious saving, I was going to write about the shallow - I have a room full of material items and I'm alive and healthy, but, but, but.... BUT, I'm going to delve deeper.
Depression. Yes. The 'D' word.
I am very observant and independent, so I see some things that my friends and family don't seem to. I can tell who is hiding something and when to be suspicious, but I also know when to be proud and hopeful.
Many, many people in my life are severely depressed. Almost every second person I know is battling some kind of demon - and half of them don't know it. These people, my friends and family are just living their lives, being ignorant. Is ignorance bliss? I can't really say myself, but for me personally, it isn't, but I want to make it perfectly clear that knowing everything - or at least too much - is certainly not bliss - and unfortunately I know a few people who believe knowledge is power.... (perhaps another post for this one.)
But I am talking about the story of depression and love. In just about every fairytale, the prince saves the princess and they live happily ever after - why not? Why can't we see that these stories have a point to them? Yes, the feeling of intimacy can be the most amazing thing in the world, but when our intimate partner isn't by our side, we go back to our (depressing) lives. We just switch. Things seem to resume like Romeo was never there. And then, well we feel angry that our happiness resolved around them. But the big problem is that we tend to forget the bad place we were in when Romeo comes back or another partner comes into our life!
WTF?
Human nature is a strange phenomenon....
That is all for now.
KK
Monday, December 30, 2013
Saturday, December 28, 2013
Suspended coffees
I'd just like to point out a charity that I actually support, because it shows that small deeds go a long way and you don't need a big organisation to make a difference - that we may or may not need.
http://www.suspendedcoffee.com.au/
https://www.facebook.com/SuspendedCoffeess
KK
http://www.suspendedcoffee.com.au/
https://www.facebook.com/SuspendedCoffeess
KK
Charity
So I speak my mind in many ways, this is my blog and everything I say is true to me, and in my words again, I'd like to say hey to - CHARITY!!
So I have recently heard so much about the - R U ok day campaign for suicidal awareness. If you haven't heard about all of the celebrities backing it, you can check out their youtube channel or hear this man here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwKOYR65RN0
The thing about charities such as R U Okay Day is that:
- Day - it is only one day, soon it will all be over
- R U Okay? Are people really going to answer that question honestly? I know I didn't when my mum asked me after watching the TV ad.
- Suicide. The point of R U Okay Day is to prevent suicide, but preventing suicide doesn't make the problem go away, it isn't even an excuse to build a charity around. there are people out there who have never had the thought of killing themselves, but that doesn't mean that they're ok. These are people who could do far worse things, maybe these people are bullies, control freaks or murderers.
I think that this is just a case of the cure rather then the prevention.
I could go on for ages about R U Okay Day, but its charities in general that I don't understand. Breast cancer, cervical cancer, poverty, RSPCA, the list just goes on and on and on. I understand that people tend to donate to charities or support charities that have influenced or affected them in some way, but what I don't get is, that there is so much that is wrong with the world. Now trying to fix it has got to be doing something good, but how much? I just think that it is better to do one act of kindness at a time - any act.
KK
So I have recently heard so much about the - R U ok day campaign for suicidal awareness. If you haven't heard about all of the celebrities backing it, you can check out their youtube channel or hear this man here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwKOYR65RN0
The thing about charities such as R U Okay Day is that:
- Day - it is only one day, soon it will all be over
- R U Okay? Are people really going to answer that question honestly? I know I didn't when my mum asked me after watching the TV ad.
- Suicide. The point of R U Okay Day is to prevent suicide, but preventing suicide doesn't make the problem go away, it isn't even an excuse to build a charity around. there are people out there who have never had the thought of killing themselves, but that doesn't mean that they're ok. These are people who could do far worse things, maybe these people are bullies, control freaks or murderers.
I think that this is just a case of the cure rather then the prevention.
I could go on for ages about R U Okay Day, but its charities in general that I don't understand. Breast cancer, cervical cancer, poverty, RSPCA, the list just goes on and on and on. I understand that people tend to donate to charities or support charities that have influenced or affected them in some way, but what I don't get is, that there is so much that is wrong with the world. Now trying to fix it has got to be doing something good, but how much? I just think that it is better to do one act of kindness at a time - any act.
KK
I'm sorry that I don't reach your high standards.
Ah sarcasm, the way we tell how stupid someone is - where common sense is concerned. But this post isn't about sarcasm, its about standards and the likeliness of reaching these standards that makes me want to be nothing but sarcastic.
Everybody bases their opinion on a first impression, that's just how it works. We are human and I'm pretty sure animals do it too, that or they just don't care - which is what we should do more of (only in this context...)
I'll be the first to admit that I judge people. I comment on random aspects of a person's being like a reality television show, but so do monkeys guys. We are all animals... The point in telling you that I judge people is to point out that I treat others how i want to be treated. I don't judge out loud, to the persons face. Maybe that makes it worse - frankly, I don't think it does, only I know what I think and that's all that matters. I also write on here what I think about - well 'idiots,' but have I ever mentioned names?
So now that I have been a hypocrite, I will announce that I am so so sorry. Truly. That I judge others, it really just slips into my head sometimes... um duh. I am even more sorry, though, that I do not reach the standards of others who judge me. I am insecure - what are you going to do about it? It is absolutely upsetting when people notice (a quite noticeable) aspect of my being. My disability - yes, one that I cannot control. A high standard would be to assume that I can do things that I just, can't! So I completely understand why anyone places standards, but I also understand why we hate measuring up to them.
After all - this is all a huge part of nature.
KK
I'll be the first to admit that I judge people. I comment on random aspects of a person's being like a reality television show, but so do monkeys guys. We are all animals... The point in telling you that I judge people is to point out that I treat others how i want to be treated. I don't judge out loud, to the persons face. Maybe that makes it worse - frankly, I don't think it does, only I know what I think and that's all that matters. I also write on here what I think about - well 'idiots,' but have I ever mentioned names?
So now that I have been a hypocrite, I will announce that I am so so sorry. Truly. That I judge others, it really just slips into my head sometimes... um duh. I am even more sorry, though, that I do not reach the standards of others who judge me. I am insecure - what are you going to do about it? It is absolutely upsetting when people notice (a quite noticeable) aspect of my being. My disability - yes, one that I cannot control. A high standard would be to assume that I can do things that I just, can't! So I completely understand why anyone places standards, but I also understand why we hate measuring up to them.
After all - this is all a huge part of nature.
KK
2013 - what a year!
As thirteen is my lucky number, 2013 could only be a stellar year - and boy was it! 2013 was certainly the craziest, strangest, saddest, hardest, exciting, incredible year of my life - and I hope it doesn't end now!
I learnt more than ever, about myself and more importantly, everyone else. I emerged myself in other worlds. I went to university - a whole new world for me (cue Aladdin - because I did feel like I was from the wrong side of the tracks while I was there...) But the biggest things about 2013 - were the hard times.
At the beginning of the year, my Nana passed away. I really don't care what anyone else thinks about how I should feel about that - but I was traumatised. This beautiful woman passed away in February and now that it is December, I am still no where near over it - its so true. Bugger grief, there is no definition to how I feel, perhaps somewhere around anger. I'm in the anger zone because of the people who have tried to help me by downplaying the death - why the hell do we do that? I'm contradicting myself here because I did block the incident out of my head for the majority of the year, then I'd have a cry in the car every couple of weeks. I'd kick and scream into my pillow and then seem like I was over it - especially to myself. Then Midyear, my Nana's sister (my great aunt) also passed away - well what came next, was probably pretty standard, but again, that doesn't make it any less of a thought, an issue, a feeling inside my gut. The amazing thing about all of this was that I didn't break, but I did become weak.
My family means the world to me - um yes I am aware that everyone says that, but in the generation 'Y' era, I friggen' mean it! Every-time I see my extended family, I am truly fascinated... and shit scared. I have so many non-blood relatives and few blood relatives and every year around Christmas - the only thoughts in my mind are of my family and mostly how I have failed them during the year...
Don't get me wrong, my feelings of failure come from forgetting them throughout the year. (Don't lie - we all forget our 2nd cousins birthday or our great grandparents anniversary, even our niece's school play.) For some reason, Christmastime remind's me of everything I should have done. But that could be another post...
Anyway, one of the most exciting things for me this year was doing my singing lessons. Now I am certainly not an impulsive person, but I'd say that this year of independence changed that. I just did it. I started singing lessons for fun and to get my mind off things - and it worked! Another post also.
Among other things, I also had many personal endeavours, which if you know me, you may understand that I am not comfortable expressing online.
Many more ups and downs happened this year, just like any other. The only difference was that it opened my mind, heart and eyes - especially after my weeks of migraines. I get horrific migraines from stress and having constant migraines for more than two weeks proved how stressed I was. But this all came after a very interesting counselling session - which mind you, was supposed to be a kinesiology session...
If you don't know what kinesiology is: http://kerrybelviso.com/kinesiology/what-is-kinesiology/ (pronounced kin-eeeees-eeee-ology)
Anyway, during this counselling session I was told a lot of things about myself and I realised what I should be doing - which actually made me over think it all and become, well neurotic... yes I will admit it. A neuro theme happening here...
Truthfully, I am just starting to get back to normal, but it has taken a very long year, because I believe I felt unreal last year (2012) when I decided on going to uni. In other words I was blocked - in more ways in one. I don't see the light just yet, but I know I'm fine.
Remember guys,
I'm open to everything.
xoxo to me and you all,
KK
I learnt more than ever, about myself and more importantly, everyone else. I emerged myself in other worlds. I went to university - a whole new world for me (cue Aladdin - because I did feel like I was from the wrong side of the tracks while I was there...) But the biggest things about 2013 - were the hard times.
At the beginning of the year, my Nana passed away. I really don't care what anyone else thinks about how I should feel about that - but I was traumatised. This beautiful woman passed away in February and now that it is December, I am still no where near over it - its so true. Bugger grief, there is no definition to how I feel, perhaps somewhere around anger. I'm in the anger zone because of the people who have tried to help me by downplaying the death - why the hell do we do that? I'm contradicting myself here because I did block the incident out of my head for the majority of the year, then I'd have a cry in the car every couple of weeks. I'd kick and scream into my pillow and then seem like I was over it - especially to myself. Then Midyear, my Nana's sister (my great aunt) also passed away - well what came next, was probably pretty standard, but again, that doesn't make it any less of a thought, an issue, a feeling inside my gut. The amazing thing about all of this was that I didn't break, but I did become weak.
My family means the world to me - um yes I am aware that everyone says that, but in the generation 'Y' era, I friggen' mean it! Every-time I see my extended family, I am truly fascinated... and shit scared. I have so many non-blood relatives and few blood relatives and every year around Christmas - the only thoughts in my mind are of my family and mostly how I have failed them during the year...
Don't get me wrong, my feelings of failure come from forgetting them throughout the year. (Don't lie - we all forget our 2nd cousins birthday or our great grandparents anniversary, even our niece's school play.) For some reason, Christmastime remind's me of everything I should have done. But that could be another post...
Anyway, one of the most exciting things for me this year was doing my singing lessons. Now I am certainly not an impulsive person, but I'd say that this year of independence changed that. I just did it. I started singing lessons for fun and to get my mind off things - and it worked! Another post also.
Among other things, I also had many personal endeavours, which if you know me, you may understand that I am not comfortable expressing online.
Many more ups and downs happened this year, just like any other. The only difference was that it opened my mind, heart and eyes - especially after my weeks of migraines. I get horrific migraines from stress and having constant migraines for more than two weeks proved how stressed I was. But this all came after a very interesting counselling session - which mind you, was supposed to be a kinesiology session...
If you don't know what kinesiology is: http://kerrybelviso.com/kinesiology/what-is-kinesiology/ (pronounced kin-eeeees-eeee-ology)
Anyway, during this counselling session I was told a lot of things about myself and I realised what I should be doing - which actually made me over think it all and become, well neurotic... yes I will admit it. A neuro theme happening here...
Truthfully, I am just starting to get back to normal, but it has taken a very long year, because I believe I felt unreal last year (2012) when I decided on going to uni. In other words I was blocked - in more ways in one. I don't see the light just yet, but I know I'm fine.
Remember guys,
I'm open to everything.
xoxo to me and you all,
KK
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