Some freaking nights!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQkBeOisNM0

Every time I think about my life - which is constantly.... this song comes to mind and it is so spot on.

I spend the majority of my time thinking. All I ever do is think, My mind is constantly running a million kilometres an hour, but in true kkspassion fashion (rhyme intended) I don't care!

I love my mindset and I am constantly telling myself to never let anyone change my mind. I know that I always ramble on about these things, but our minds are powerful things. We are all unique and what we don't say are probably the best parts of us.

Lately I have been so confused on where my future stands, but isn't that the point? Everyone says that we should live in the present, but I think its okay to embrace the past, present and future. No one should tell you how to live your life, but isn't that also what we constantly do to each other?

I am not afraid to seek help and lately I have done just that. I have, however, found that these sources just make things worse! I am sick of people telling me what I should be doing, how I should be doing it and then asking me why I am doing it!!

Some nights I just don't know myself! As I have said before - it's all in the journey, who cares where the destination is?

KK

As scientists we don't observe much.

The black and white of being a scientist is to observe our surroundings and report on it. But I can't think of a single scientist - including students, doctors, vets, that really observe. Yes they observe one thing, focus on the material they need to concentrate on, but its as if we don't have surroundings, air, the sun, the room we are in.

All I'm saying is that a lot of people interested in science are different from the rest. I can't say - as I grow older - where I stand on the scientific mind, but up until today, I feel that it is a lost profession. Most, certainly not all, scientists are so lost and unobservant, but the people that I have dealt with before, honestly don't seem like they are really living to me.

Look, I am not going to get into the right and left brain debate - because personally I don't believe it, a blog for another time perhaps... - but the real analytical thinkers, the science people, Sheldon Cooper, you guys just don't seem to interpret, well... life!

KK

Pet profile: Chloe!

Please note that I don't love any of my family or pets more than another. These posts are posted in no particular order.

Chloe must be about 10 - 12 years now which is a damn good age for a small terrier like this beautiful girl. Chloe is a Jack Russell Terrier x Fox Terrier and she was the first puppy I ever picked out. Dad took my brother and I to buy her when we were probably in our mid teens (I'm 21 and my brother is 18) and we each picked a puppy. My brother picked the first little girl that crawled up to him, but it took me ages to decide!

Chloe's sister, Jessie unfortunately passed away when she was a year or two old, she was run over by a car, but truthfully, she wasn't the first animals we'd lost and it never gets easier - trust me. I will try to do a profile on Jessie, but I am not sure if I have too many photos of her.

Chloe, (in the forefront of the above picture, showing her nature well...) is a very cautious, shy girl who listens and does what she is told... usually. She has had some problems with fighting (as bitches do) with our other 'current' female - Abbie (above also, though not a flattering profile of her...) Chloe and Abbie have always fought over their puppies and it has come to bloody near-death fights at times (Sometimes my fault) as females are dominant, they are protecting both their young and their masters (me) so if I get involved its much worse - which is why I have to....

On the lighter side, the girls have now been separated and live happily on separate properties. But before this happened Chloe was daddy's little girl - forget that I picked her out and that she was 'mine,' no, she rarely listened to me and was always by dad's side. (By the way Chloe is one of three 'current' dogs that I own at my dads house, I 'currently' have two dogs at my mothers house.) I understand her decision to abandon me though, I mean, I only see her randomly!  

Everyone says it, but animals are special and Chloe is just like us, a little shy sometimes, she gets overexcited, she cries and she smiles. Those eyes are a dead give-away, I mean just look ^!

I love this girl to bits and I am happy to share her with the blogging world. My little angel. I love you.

KK

Grief never escapes you, but that's okay

So I haven't been blogging for a while because of well, grief, stress, that sort of stuff. But if there is one thing that you should know about me, it's that I can always pick myself up. I can go through meds, doctors, therapy, but in the end it is always my mind just switching and pulling myself out of my rut.

My Aunt recently passed away and every-time someone in my life passes, I think of everyone else who has left me behind, and that makes me so much sadder. Don't get me wrong, I get that people die and we have to move on, but a part of me does feel empty.

My Nana also passed away earlier this year and as it was her sister who just passed recently, I have been in absolute agony over the fact that I didn't spend enough time with them, its not quite regret, in my books, I am just straining myself trying to make everyone proud and when someone disappears from my life, I tend to infuse in the energy I had around them and my emotions sky-rocket. In a way, these emotions make me strive and although it may look like I am destroying myself, with tears, sleepless nights, anger, getting lost and overdoing things, I know that soon, my mind will switch, and pull me back up.

If you have been reading my blogs for a while now, you will probably know of one of my first encounters with grief - Adam Ruble. To recap, here is the post that I blogged about him.

http://kkspassion.blogspot.com.au/2011/02/rest-in-peace-adam-ruble.html

I have been on pinterest for a while now and in my current state of mind, I (stupidly? I don't know...) came across the following video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch/?v=gCHI75k1MJE

How bright am I? But you know what? Screw any therapy, meds or docs, I'll be 'right!

KK