So it has been a while since I have posted
on here, but I always come back - funny that. Covid-19 has been a whirlwind
and yes, this devastating disease is a factor - but I am also studying
full-time, so I am busy, so busy in fact, I would be isolating whether out of global
necessity or not.
I passed an exceedingly difficult test today. Although many say it, 'study is hard' – I struggle a lot. I struggle for reasons I simply cannot help, no I do not have a closed mindset, but I would rather not discuss my struggles now. This post is about passion – something which can be so ridiculously hard to come by when life is just difficult, frustrating, boring or even busy. I do not dwell on these things, but doesn’t everyone get carried away with daily activities and emotions? This, this right here and now is just sometimes what we must embrace – the moments – when you may have them, that make up why we are here and what we love to do! Perhaps ‘this’ will explain what I am struggling to say:
Life throws lemons at you, you
bruise, they bruise - so you cannot make lemonade and you go looking for
oranges instead. Those imperfections though, the odd bunch of stories, “really's?”
and “why me's?” – one day, you might look back on them and think, “why didn’t
I?” or “I am glad that happened” – it’s up to you!
I have learnt not to rely on others too much. If everyone knows
everything about me, well I do not think this is possible, but if they did - I
guess I would be disappointed. Disappointed in that, they can take everything
away, dictate how I feel and even influence what I do and BELIEVE I am capable
of. It sucks, but let me show you another song, one I feel just displays this
so well:
"All my secrets with you."
I get it, you have a romantic partner or friend and they break your heart, I'm not saying don't tell anyone everything, I'm just saying - keep some things for yourself, know how to perk yourself up.
If you give all of yourself to someone or everyone, it doesn't even have to be someone close, perhaps a mentor, boss, co-worker, friend, parent, sibling, neighbour even, if you let them know everything (or most things) and rely on their response to anything you do, well, are you setting yourself up for pain?
I'm not talking break-ups or regrets, not really. I am talking about being yourself - to yourself. Proving that you can do something purely for you, not for others - your passion. If you can always revert back to your passion after living your everyday life - well to me, that can just be all of the self-care and inspiration I need to keep going, keep fighting!
Stay passionate!
KK