Be the 'One that got away!'

I'm going to propose something impossible,

- envisage this.

Your partner or your crush, whom you are incredibly enamoured with, you have so many memories, so much in common, you have fun, laugh, feel comfortable with each other and there are endless possibilities. 

Then it ends, before it has begun...

When all is said and done in a relationship, it can be so hard to get back into life and focus on yourself, focus on the future, etc. But in retrospect, if I took it in my stride and just thought that the person who would have been my partner, missed out, I'd be okay with that. No self- pity parties and the usual break-up disasters, (or in a crushing case, wonder about what never happened...) If you turn it around and consider that 'it was never meant to be,' it really can help.

It all takes time of course, but as I have said so many times on this blog, you are the glow, the shine. You are awesome the way you are. You are the gold that makes life worth living, if someone didn't appreciate that, then they didn't get to experience your glow, you, however always will.

If you love yourself, you can love another. After a break up, it feels impossible to recover, be the pure, golden joy that you are and can spread to everyone in your life, but your glow or whatever you wish to call it never goes away, sometimes it becomes hidden when your mind is elsewhere, but when you glow, those who have wronged you miss out - so bring back the glow!

Be the beautiful you that got away, because you never want to escape yourself!

KK

High standards

I got another one today. One of those emails that say: 'you aren't good enough.' Well they attempt to put it nicely, but that really is exactly what they mean.
By 'they' I don't mean bullies, teachers, politicians, doctors or even a potential boss - I am talking about someone that I have asked advice from.

Let me explain...

I am coming to the end of my current University degree and therefore asking career counsellors, lecturers and really anyone that I can, to lend some advice on what my next move should be. (I actually have some great ideas in my head, but I'm not telling anyone, especially going by the way my own academic institution views me...) and all I keep hearing is either 'you need high marks,' 'try to volunteer more,' 'you need to have a great resume' or 'you aren't based in this area, so you can't work there.'

Excuse me?

First of all, I need to point out that these 'advice givers' are well meaning, I mean, they took the time to respond to my messages and gave me answers to the questions that I'd asked, but not one person has said - 'there is always another way to get where you want to be.'

Now I really only expect generic advice from my academic institution, because if I have learnt anything about higher level tertiary education - it is certainly that 'grades matter.' This is fine, I don't expect them not to, but does anyone consider the alternatives, outside of grades?

- disabilities
- how well someone can physically do something (not just mentally)
- grief
- depression/anxiety
- distractions
- hard home life
- 'disadvantaged' living
- work/family/life [imbalance]
- rural living
- 'disadvantaged' upbringing
- LIFE...

The irony of these alternatives, is that there are postgraduate degrees that allow students with an undergraduate degree to learn to 'help' these 'disadvantaged' people, but to get into that course one needs very high grades.... "insert eye roll emoji."

I'm not angry. I'm really not. If anything I am determined. I have more than one of the above 'issues' in my life and, well so does every other human being. I don't blame people for praising the highly academic minded people, after all, they seem to have given up a lot to get where they are.

But I too have given up a lot to be where I am, I have also gained so much more than I thought I ever could. This leaves me to pity those that make these rules of needing to meet certain standards. I mean, I know the world is competitive and this somehow justifies needing standards to do certain things in life, but that's okay... I'll find another way around.

As the song goes,

I've always found my way somehow, by taking the long way...

The long way around - Dixie Chicks